Who Me? Should I show up?

The news of a loss makes its way to you, maybe not directly from the person, maybe on social media, maybe through a friend, but now you know…what do you do next? I often hear from people that they don’t know if in these scenarios it is important to show up? It can be a little uncomfortable when deciding what to do, if anything.

My advice is always to show the griever some kindness. You can always choose acts that match the level of your connection. Grief can feel so lonely, and I’ve found it is the kindnesses that can be the light, so the more we can surround those who have lost someone, the better.

Sometimes we assume that the person is being cared for by those closest to them or that others have this support covered.  That might be true, both those folks might also be navigating their own grief and loss, and a little extra love goes a long way. I distinctly remember how touched I was when someone unexpectedly took the time to send their sympathy or recognize my grief journey.

Don’t shy away, you are the person to show up, to send a card, a text, a care package, to coordinate some meals, to offer to babysit or dog walk. There is a kind act waiting that fits the circumstances and your relationship.  You won’t regret being there, but you might regret standing on the sidelines. The gift is showing up!