love as a pack

When someone we love is navigating a difficult time, it can be overwhelming thinking of how we, as individuals, can be there for them in a meaningful way. The great news is you don’t have to show up alone….love and move as a pack. It is likely that there are other supporters in the wings waiting to deploy some love, who are having the same internal struggle about doing it alone.

I encourage you to reach out to friends and family and invite them to join you in the circle of support. During the time I was losing my mom, my friend Cari invited me over to her house for dinner and drinks. I was moved by the invitation and recognized I could use the break, so I accepted.

When that December evening came, I was not in the mood. My afternoon began with trying to find some joy in a little Christmas shopping. I love finding thoughtful gifts and I wanted to do something “normal”, as if it was any other day, not a day touched by cancer. While I was shopping in a store that has the most wonderful trinkets, I stumbled across a table with a beautiful display of gifts. I quickly realized they were all gifts for mom. My heart sank as I slowly backed away from it. In an effort to find a few hours of peace, in the most innocent way, I was reminded that there was no escape. Before this, I would have never gotten emotional looking at mother-themed gifts, but this table haunted me, letting me know that all experiences might be a little different moving forward. After that, I tried calling (yes on the telephone – I still love a good phone call) to cancel. Cari didn’t take any of these calls, knowing that I was trying to bail, so I rallied and headed over.

When I walked through her door, I was floored to see the room filled with a group of friends. They secretly came together to give me joy in the form of a crafting party. I LOVE crafts. There were supplies galore and wreaths waiting to be designed and constructed. There was WINE, which I also love. Prior to my mom getting sick, I dove into the holiday season with bells on, but that year it was harder to tap into that feeling. I could not believe that these busy women banded together to create a night for me filled with the spirit of the season.

I can only imagine the coordination that had to take place to pull this off - aligning schedules, collecting supplies, finding a playlist – all the details. What I know for sure is that it was beautiful seeing them all there. I am so grateful that they loved as a pack. Together, they gave me one of the most memorable nights. To this day, when I see a homemade wreath, I smile and think of the way they warmed my heart that evening.

Surprise craft parties may not be a good fit for everyone, but you can certainly find ways to invite more folks in to help surround your loved one in warmth and add a moment of joy to their day. Whether it is a MealTrain, a happy hour, or a group curated playlist, work as a collective! Love in numbers and move at a pack!